Sunday, September 04, 2011

...thoughts on the eve of a new school year...

School/work restarts in 2 days. Thank goodness, because when you have this much time to think, you only have so many thoughts before you end up going in circles and asking yourself the same questions over and over again. "What the heck is going to happen to me in 2012?" "Will I make my European dream a reality, and if so, will it be a good experience or will I wind up getting a nice slap of reality in the face?" "Do I have a chance of teaching internationally?"
And so on, and so on. Honestly, in a strange way, I am welcoming the stress of a new school year if it means that my mind will be focusing on completely other things, rather than my pathetic, endless stream of where-am-I-going questions.
Let me worry about meeting IEP demands, lazy students, and all those beautiful other things associated with school. My mind's gonna be so busy in the next few weeks and months...and maybe that's a good thing! Let's hope it will be a good year overall.
There are many students that I look forward to seeing again too, thank goodness :)
Well, whatever is going to happen this year, one thing is certain, it will be b-u-s-y. I'll be concentrating on my work at my school, and also focusing on sending off CVs internationally and possibly attending a teaching fair in Cambridge Massachusetts. Yup, busy is the word. But, that's okay.
I had such a good summer. Probably one of the best of my life. Vegas and Spain were amazing. I really relaxed a lot and took it all in...I enjoyed every single moment of everything. I wrote a lot in my journal as well. I read 4 books, took walks, met up with friends, and listened to a lot of music. I guess you could say it was the summer of ME.
It's already slowly starting to get cooler. Yesterday was a very hot and humid day, but today it feels more like fall is trying to push its head in.
I could write endlessly about what I did in Vegas and in Spain...but I already wrote that information in my private journal. There are some things that should be kept private, no? Let's just say that Spain will always be my "happy place" and that I will keep going back (if I don't end up living there again) until I die. The only souvenir I bought for myself while there was a little heart-shaped keychain with the simple word: "Espana" written on it. That's all that I needed, really. It says it all, in my opinion.
I consider myself very fortunate to have such a good teaching job here in Canada. I truly love what I do. However, I feel that I can use my languages to a better and fuller extent in Europe...I just feel like I have so much to offer over there. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting to leave a great country such as Canada, but I just feel like there's something else out there for me. Am I wrong? Am I right? I just need an opportunity, an open door, to see if teaching languages at an international school would be worth it. Thank goodness that my job can give me a 2 year leave of absence...well, here's hoping I get an opportunity to use this.
I know there will be challenges. Oh boy, will there ever be. I love complicating my life.
But, those risks...those challenges, make us feel so alive. And in the end, isn't it all worth it?
H.

No comments: